His Role Reversal
by Bells of Tomorrow
Summary: Why is JD so obsessed with the idea of me as his father figure when he’s so damn good at it himself? What does he see in me as a father that he himself doesn’t have? Future!fic.


_**A/N: **__This is an idea I've been playing with for a while now. Turned out much different and much longer than I originally intended it to be, but the concept is still there, so why not go for it? The idea is sort of strange, sort of not. Depends how you look at it. But anyway, more of that at the end. Until then, I hope you enjoy it._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I own a very large nothing._

_**Warning number 1:**__ Rated for language._

_**Warning number 2:**__ MAJOR SPOILERS FROM "MY FINALE," AND SEASON 8 IN GENERAL. _

**His Role Reversal**

Perry sat awkwardly on the unfamiliar barstool, his fifth scotch being handed to him by a bartender whose face he'd never seen.

Work that day had been hell. He'd been forced to fire two nurses, which only earned him an angry visit from Carla. He had explained to her as best he could that it just wasn't in the budget; that the two nurses he fired were both fairly new and fairly incompetent. They were the ones with bad reports and the ones that were young enough to move on to a new hospital and try yet again at their said careers. God, it's not like he fired a nurse who'd been working there forever! He wasn't Bobbo, damn it! He didn't fire someone for fun or simply in that they were "Uggos." Well, turns out Kelso hadn't always thought that way either, but still…

After Carla had left his office, still in angry Latina-mode, the _other_ Chief had stormed in. Gandhi had given him a lecture for "Upsetting his wife," to which Dr. Cox had finally snapped, yelling at him to get the hell out of his office before he went ahead and took_ his_ office as a trophy.

The day had only gotten worse when a patient he had been foolishly becoming fond of coded and died. Pulmonary hypertension – they'd been treating it like mad, but it had finally taken its toll.

At least, after helping him put the crash cart away, Carla had shot him a sympathetic smile. Guess that meant he was off the hook for the whole nurse fiasco.

But still, the day had completely and utterly sucked, and he just didn't have it in him to go to his usual bar, knowing full well that Sacred Heart sat right there waiting for him when all was said and done. No, it was too close to that damn building. He wanted out. Just for one night, he wanted out.

So he'd gotten into his car and driven out to the only other hospital he knew of in the near by area. Well, he hadn't driven to the hospital exactly, but to the town in which it was settled. He was quick to find a bar and quick to order a drink.

And here he was now: 11:00pm, currently downing his seventh scotch, and feeling way too damn out of it to drive.

"Want me to call you a taxi?"

Perry looked up from staring at his empty glass to the disinterested eyes of the bartender. "No, I got it."

The other man just walked away as Perry took out his phone. He'd call a taxi and…and what? Go home? But his car was here. He was off tomorrow, and he wanted to spend it relaxing; not making the thirty-five minute trip inside another taxi in order to pick up his car, just to make yet _another_ thirty-five minute trip back home.

Whatever. He'd call a taxi and give him the name of some random hotel he'd spotted on the way. It didn't really matter where he spent the night, did it? Nor did it matter that he knew the exact address and location of where his bearded protégé currently resided, right? Hell, it'd been three years since the kid moved there. He'd seen the place enough times – against his will, of course – to know not only it's location, but to know what exact shade their carpet was, or how many picture frames held Sam's diaper covered bottom that lined those cream covered walls.

Ah, to hell with it. He was far too drunk to care, and far too exhausted from the day that had put him there in the first place.

Before he knew it, he was in the taxi; the kid's address spilling from his mouth and sounding much more slurred than he had expected it to.

At least he had something to blame his stupidity on.

--

He knocked against the door much louder than he had meant to, forgetting for a moment that the kid didn't live alone and that it was, in fact, rather late. Well, he didn't feel bad if he ended up waking Barbie, but he didn't want to wake up Sam. The kid was only three; way too young to be dealing with "Uncle Cox's" drunken antics. (When it was he became "Uncle Cox," he didn't really know, but he had heard his protégé refer to him as such when talking to Sammy on more than one occasion. He would've put a stop to it too, if Carla hadn't jumped in by referring to him as the same thing when talking to both Izzy and Gale. Whatever. Not like he was actually flattered by it, or something…)

"Coming, coming!"

Perry couldn't help the drunken snicker that escaped him at the sound of Newbie stubbing his toe on the way to the door.

But whatever he had banged it against didn't seem to slow him down any. JD answered the door fairly quickly, rubbing at his eyes before he realized who stood in its frame. When he removed his hands long enough to take in the man before him, his frustration at being woken up and his weariness from just climbing out of bed completely and utterly vanished. "Dr. Cox! What're you doing here?" But before the older man could form a proper response, the brunet's excited expression morphed into one of worry. "Dr. Cox, what _are_ you doing here? Are you oka - ?"

"Hold that thought, Newbile One. First, there will be no sympathetic concern thrown my way. I am not a lost puppy who has wondered onto your doorstep. I'm a damn good doctor and a damn good Chief of Medicine, whether your black wife thinks so or not, you got that?"

Perry was glad he was good at keeping his expressions indifferent when he needed to, because the drunken slur that had so faintly showed through his rant, or the rants contents, for that matter, had given him away almost instantly. The realization that was currently growing on JD's expression was a quick give-a-way there, but Dr. Cox still managed to pull off annoyed indifference; crossing his arms and flicking his nose while waiting to be invited inside.

"So…rough day?"

"Bingo, Sally. Now let me in. I need a place to stay seeing as how I'm not 'fit' to drive home tonight."

"I – yeah! Yeah, of course! Wow, Dr. Cox, I'm really happy you decided to come here instead of a hotel. You know you're always welcome here and I really –"

A sharp whistle cut him off, in which Perry silently praised himself for still being able to pull that off, even in his intoxicated state. "Just grab me a blanket, a pillow, and if you and Barbie decide to bump uglies while I'm here, a set of earplugs. I want to sleep and forget this day even happened, thank you very much."

JD just nodded as he stood aside and let him in, a small little grin playing at the corner of his mouth. Dr. Cox just rolled his eyes. Maybe he wasn't a real "Newbie," any more, but all be damned if he didn't get just as excited over being anything remotely to – God save him – _needed,_ by his mentor.

Dr. Cox looked around him, blinking, not having realized he was already on the couch. JD, who had retreated to his bedroom, came out a few moments later; folded blankets and pillows in hand. "I brought a couple of different blankets in case you wanted to set it up a certain way, and I was only going to bring one pillow, but I wasn't sure if you liked yours flat or really fluffy, so I brought both."

"Well gee, thanks Janice. You sure are a thorough little hostess, aren't you?"

This time, it was JD's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever. I know you actually appreciate it, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, Dr. Cox, I'm going back to bed. I have to be at work by seven, but I'll leave a note for Elliot telling her that you're here and that you might still be sleeping."

"God, Sally, will you relax? Just go to bed already. I'm fine out here, except for this weird buzzing noise that just doesn't seem to wanna go away. Oh, will you look at that! Turns out it's just you going on, and on, and on, and on, and –"

"Right. Night, Dr. Cox."

Perry watched JD go as he began to groggily lay out the blankets given to him on the couch, making sure his words hadn't gotten to the kid too much. So alright – he couldn't bring himself to do the whole, "Thanks so much" routine, but he'd kept his rants fairly short and only called him a girls' name three times, and if he knew his Newbie, then he knew the kid would definitely have noticed and taken it in.

That was sort of like a thank you, right?

Okay, crappy reasoning, but he was too tired and too drunk to care. Perry lowered himself onto the blanket covered couch, letting out a rare and grateful sigh. He fell asleep only seconds after his head hit the pillow.

--

He had no idea why the sound woke him up.

Maybe it was because he was a parent too, and his body was now trained to react upon hearing those kinds of noises. Maybe it was because, when he turned to look at the clock, he'd only been sleeping for an hour since first lying down. Or maybe it had something to do with him being a doctor, he didn't really know, but the crying had awoken him nonetheless.

But before he could even decide whether or not it was really his place to go see if the kid was okay, the child came out of his room in a hurry, toddling over to his parent's door as quickly as his little legs could carry him. He was openly sobbing, and Perry felt an undeniable ache to react; to sit up and ask the poor kid if he was alright. But Sam had completely bypassed him, not having known he was there to begin with. If Dr. Cox sat up now, he'd only manage to startle him further. Not a good idea. So he stayed quiet as he watched the onsie wearing toddler knock hurriedly on his parent's door.

JD was there in flash, and Perry watched on as Sam held out his arms in a desperate desire to be picked up and cuddled, tears still flowing freely.

"Aw, Sammy, what happened?"

"Bad dweam, bad dweam! I don't wanna go back ta sweep."

The three year old was crying into his father's neck now, while said parent went about embracing him, his free hand coming up to rub small, comforting circles onto his back. "It's okay, Sammy, it's okay. Did you want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight?"

"Don't wanna go back ta sweep at _all!_ Is' gonna come again, Daddy. Ta bad dweam wit ta scawy monsters."

"What if we sat together in your room for a while – would you like that?"

Sam must've nodded yes, because Perry was suddenly aware of approaching footsteps. Not knowing why it mattered that they thought he was still sleeping, the older man instinctively shut his eyes, allowing them to pass by without comment.

Geez, what was he doing? At first, he had stayed awake to make sure the kid's parents would answer his call; to make sure Sam was alright. But he was okay now. Newbie was there with him, so why didn't he just allow himself to fall back to sleep? Why was he oddly grateful that JD had left the kid's bedroom door open, allowing him to hear in on their current conversation? What did any of this matter to him now that the kid was taken care of?

But for some reason, he found his ears straining to hear, while his eyes fought off sleep and the alcohol that still ran through his system.

"Do you want to tell me about your bad dream?" he heard JD ask softly.

"No," Sam sniffed in response, his crying finally coming to a close. "Jus' wanna cuddle."

"Okay, Sammy, okay."

"Daddy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I have my binkie?"

_What the hell is a binkie?_ Perry thought quietly.

"Of course you can, Sam-a-roo. Did you see where it went?"

"I dwopped it on ta ways out."

"Oh, here it is kiddo. Let me go wash it first, alright?"

"No! Daddy, don't weave me!"

"Shh, Sammy, shh. It's okay, alright? Do you want to come with me to the kitchen?"

Sam seemed to be a fan of nodding rather than just saying the word yes, because once again, Percival found his cover threatened by a pair of approaching footsteps. Quickly, he shut his eyes, listening to the two walk right past him and out into their intended destination.

What Dr. Cox did next was a bold move, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. At the sound of running water, the older man sat up quietly, just enough to see over the couch and out into the kitchen. Sam, apparently, was still being carried; face hidden in his father's neck, while JD was washing a – oh. A pacifier. So that's what a binkie was.

Alright, mystery solved. So why on earth was he still up? Why wasn't he allowing himself to fall back to sleep?

Truth was, his curiosity had very little to do with the pacifier. No. His curiosity was over his Newbie in father mode. Not that he'd never seen him act as such before, but even then – whether it was during his once a month visits to Sacred Heart or the various parties Dr. Cox had been forced to attend since his departure – he had always snuck glances of his protégé taking care of Sam. The man was like a giant kid himself, so seeing him so responsible and attentive to a child…

Still, there was something else. Something else that drew him to the image of JD comforting his son that he could never quite place; a combination of feelings he wasn't particularly used to, well…feeling. Maybe that was why he couldn't pin point them. Maybe that was why he had absolutely no idea what it was.

"There you go, Sammy. Is that better?"

A faint sucking sound made it clear to Perry why it was Sam was not saying yes this time, and when they passed by the couch and went back to the kid's bedroom, Perry opened his eyes before they rounded the corner, long enough to see Sam looking content as he continued on sucking his pacifier.

There was a few moments of silence, in which Perry had been contemplating on giving sleep another go, but that thought was soon forgotten as a soft, gentle sound emitted from the child's nursery, but it wasn't Sammy, no. It was JD.

Perry had no idea why he did what he did next. He'd been avoiding being seen awake by the two of them since the whole fiasco started. Maybe it was the alcohol working with his obvious lack of sleep, or maybe it was his frustration over not understanding his curiosity over the situation at hand, but very slowly and very cautiously, Dr. Cox stood from his place on the couch, making his way over to the bedroom door to stand idly by its frame.

JD's back was facing him, while Sam continued to nestle trustingly into his father's neck. But that's not what had grabbed his attention anyway. It was the soft, soothing sound coming from the parent that was bouncing him lovingly; the soft sound of humming.

It sounded vaguely like "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," but did it really matter what the tune was anyway? That wasn't the point. The point, or rather, the _question_, was why on earth did he feel so oddly drawn to it? And why, _why_ were those emotions from earlier only increasing as the minutes passed?

It wasn't until Sammy wiggled a little in his father's hold, turning his head so that he now stared directly into Dr. Cox's eyes, did the older man realize exactly what those feelings were.

Perry froze. Not from being caught, but from the horrible, horrible realization that was his emotions. The question that had been plaguing the back of his mind before he even realized it was there.

_Why is JD so obsessed with the idea of me as his father-figure when he's so damn good at it himself? What does he see in me as a father that he himself doesn't have?_

And then the feeling, or rather, the combination of feelings. The horrible, horrible truth.

A part of him was jealous of Sam.

Sam had something Perry would never have; never _did_ have. A father who loved him; a father who cared for him. But what was that other unfamiliar feeling that hid itself underneath the jealousy?

Oh, that's right: Vulnerability.

He'd never, hee-_ever_ expected to look at JD like a, like a…like a-whatever-the-hell! And now he felt vulnerable. Weak, even. And this kid that he quite suddenly wanted to be, if only for a moment, just to see how it felt, was staring at him sleepily and raising his little hand to wave hello. And numbly, Perry waved back, except he did not see the brown shaggy hair that was Sammy's. Instead…instead, he saw red, curly locks. And, God, the sight of it; oh God, the sight of it…

"Dr. Cox…?"

The older man instantly stiffened, bringing his hand down and to his side at once. Shit. He'd been caught. He felt oddly like a child in trouble. Ah hell, what was _wrong_ with him tonight!? _Alcohol. It's the alcohol, Per. Just keep blaming the damn alcohol. _

JD had stepped away for a moment to tuck Sammy into bed, the boy now fast asleep as he continued to suck on his pacifier, blissfully unaware of his Uncle Cox's crazy, drunken emotions. (Or at least, that's what he was calling them) But JD was back by his side in a moment, looking at him quizzically; his expression one of obvious concern. "Dr. Cox? Did you…did you want something?"

_I want you not to look at me like that, Sally, because I'm not a little kid in need of comforting here. What? No, I don't want to switch places with your son for two seconds just to see what it's like, because that, Gloria, would be a ca-_razy_ fantasy. Scratch that – it'd be something so crazy that only _you_ would fantasize about, not me. So no, Priscilla, no._ _I don't want anything other than you going back to bed so I can go back to sleep myself._

But Perry's usual quick witted tongue wasn't working all of the sudden, and now he was looking at his shoes like they were the most interesting things in the world. He tried to look up too; to glare or to shout or to just…_something._ Something that wouldn't make him feel so pathetically helpless it hurt.

And suddenly JD was reaching out to him, and Perry absolutely hated what he did next:

He flinched. Openly fucking _flinched_ at the kid's hand coming towards him. But he just couldn't take being touched right now; not by anybody, and especially not by JD. It was too much. He would crumble if he allowed it to happen, wouldn't he?

But the hand paused, having recognized the unfamiliar movement from the older man before him. Cautiously, it reached down to curl its fingers around the end of his visitor's sleeve.

Perry tried to fight as JD gently guided him over to the couch, but he was surprised when the room around him suddenly swam upon taking a seat. Right. Scotch. At least he still had something to blame his stupidity on…

Perry was quite suddenly aware of Newbie sitting next to him, and while he was certain that the brunet did not know what was wrong with him exactly, he knew that JD was observant enough to realize that something was, in fact, wrong. He thought that maybe he would start to talk, because that was the kid's greatest talent, after all. He thought that, after a moment or so, he would try to get all sentimental; he'd ask him what was wrong and start spouting stupid things about sharing your feelings with the people you care about, but he was surprised when JD just flicked on the TV, turning the channel to a station he knew was meant to comfort him, because it was no secret that the brunet would never turn on ESPN by his lonesome.

Such a seemingly small gesture, and yet Perry could not let it _not_ effect him. He didn't want this damn comfort though; this damn vulnerability. Yet because it _was_ so comforting – and because he was extremely tired and not-so-sober – he found himself unable to fight it, or the sleep that was finally hitting him and hitting him hard. The figures on the TV screen were blurring, the volume loud enough to hear but low enough so that it became a gentle hum. His eyelids shut at once, his mind going into that place which rests right on the line between awake and asleep.

Suddenly, his head fell on something that was hard and fairly bony. He knew what it was. Knew it should've startled him so badly that he'd want to make a quick dash for the exit. And when he went to scream and yell and ask JD why on earth was he letting him rest on his shoulder the way he was now when he knew perfectly damn well that a sober Perry Cox would never dream of such a thing, the only thing that came out of his mouth, much to his horror, was a content, sleep consumed sigh.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he heard the old nursery rhyme again. _Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are?_ He had nothing to base the sound off of other than JD's humming from earlier, as he was most certainly never sung to growing up; that was for sure.

But JD wasn't singing, he knew. He was doing something other than just sitting there though. Movement around him. Someone easing away just enough without stirring him further; someone lowering his head onto the pillow. Someone pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and turning out the small, kitchen light as he made his way back towards his room.

The words, _"Tucked in,"_ penetrated his hazy thoughts just enough to make him groan. To make him want to get up and follow JD into his room and yell at him for treating him like the child he was most certainly not.

But instead he just rolled over; the pillow under his head soft and the blanket over his body warm.

--

He woke up early, surprising even himself.

It didn't take Dr. Cox long to remember. In fact, no matter how much he seemed to drink, it never managed to erase his mind of what he had said or done during his intoxication. This morning, it seemed, was proving no different.

Slowly, he stood from the couch. The apartment was still quiet, thank God. He'd run to the bathroom, run to the bar's parking lot, hop in his car and drive home. And for JD's several next "Once a month trips to Sacred Heart," he would not, nee-_hawt_ let his presence be known. He'd made a complete and total fool of himself last night, and there was just no way in hell that Newbie would hee-hee-hee-_ever_ let this go.

After taking a quick leak, Dr. Cox made his way over to the exit, but stopped suddenly when he noticed the piece of paper taped to its front. Unmistakably Newbie's hand writing. A note for Barbie, then? It wasn't until he read the name after "Dear," did he realize that he was perfectly entitled to read said letter.

_Dear Dr. Cox,_

_Morning sunshine!_

"I thought I told him to never say that again…" he mumbled before continuing on with the letter.

_I hope you slept well. I know the next time you see me, you're going to call me a girl for this, but I'm really glad you came to our place instead of a hotel. Just remember you're always welcome to come here, alright? Tell Jordan, Jack and Mini-JD that I said hi. And yeah, I know you're going to kill me for the mini-JD comment too._

_-Your best friend and protégé-_

He…he wasn't mentioning it? Not a word of what he'd done last night? Of how strange and sickeningly open he'd been acting? The note was as if everything was exactly the same; as if his drunken antics hadn't fazed JD in the least in terms of his admiration; of his ever-long desire to still be referred to as his protégé. It was like his behavior from last night hadn't changed a thing. And that's when Perry realized:

It hadn't.

This was _JD_ he was talking about. _JD._ He wasn't going to mock him. He wasn't going to disrespect him. And only because he knew Perry would writhe in his own skin if he brought it up, he was never, ever going to discuss last night. (Though he'd probably be more than happy to if Dr. Cox brought it up himself)

Perry stuffed the note in his pocket, feeling oddly relaxed as he left the apartment and went about calling a cab. He thought on JD's comments from the note, but the kid had been wrong. Next time the brunet came to Sacred Heart for a visit, this _one_ time anyway, he wouldn't yell at him over the mini-JD line. Hell, he wouldn't even call him a girl. (For the remark in his note, at least. Other matters, well…) And he would be there too; there to rant and to flick his ear and to ask how many patients at his new hospital had he killed as of late? And JD would give him that smile he'd been giving him since three years ago, and he'd look at him for the millionth time and say, "You know I know we're friends now, Perry. Don't even bother hiding it. Though I do miss your rants, you know, not to mention those dynamite curls." Then he'd look at him, head tilted and eyes glazed, and Dr. Cox would undoubtedly growl; storming away as he did so.

But even if the rest of his day turned out just as miserable as yesterday had, it would, at least, be a little more bearable with Newbie there.

But just a little.

_**A/N:**__ I've been playing with the idea of Perry and JD's roles being reversed in terms of who looks at who as the father/leader/protector for a while now. I know there was a multitude of OC-ness in this, but I also knew that if it were to ever come off as remotely believable, it would have to be one of those moments between them that isn't seen by others, and that Perry would definitely have to be at least a _little_ drunk. I know the ending might seem like an easy get away when it comes to JD not bringing it up, but I honestly don't think it's in his character to throw something like that in Dr. Cox's face. Anyway, I've rambled enough. I'll leave you to decide whether or not that was too weird and/or too unbelievable. But hopefully, even if you do think that, you would have still found it a semi-decent read in the long run…? lol Well, that's it from me. Until next time!_

_**Side Note:**__ Gale is the name I gave to Turk and Carla's son from the "fantasy." _


End file.
